A list of examples of behaviours is provided below. It is important to understand that the context of the behaviour is important when considering what coercive control looks like. Behaviour which may seem harmless to an observer, may feel controlling, coercive or abusive to the victim-survivor because of the context the behaviour is experienced in.
Coercive control generally escalates over time. There may be an intense period of attention and courtship followed by gradual increases of controlling behaviour in both severity and frequency over time.
It may include an incident of physical violence but not always.
It may include any combination of the below behaviour:
- Threats (explicit threats to harm the victim-survivor or their children, warnings to the victim-survivor about the perpetrator’s capacity to harm).
- Belittling, degradation or humiliation.
- Menacing or intimidatory behaviour or gestures directed strategically at the victim-survivor including angry verbal outbursts, staring, silence, ignoring, withdrawal of affection.
- Monitoring, stalking or surveillance via mobile phone technologies.
- Sexual coercion, including unwanted or forced sex, being made to feel guilty for saying no, denying choice in contraception, forced abortion.
- Preventing a person from making or keeping connections with their family, friends or culture, including cultural or spiritual ceremonies or practices, or preventing the person from expressing the person’s cultural identity.
- Sleep deprivation.
- Jealousy, or accusations of cheating.
- Isolating the victim-survivor from friends, family, and/or support systems, and sabotaging social outings. Restricting the victim-survivor from leaving the residence.
- Controlling the victim-survivor’s appearance or clothing choices.
- Threatening to spread rumours of mental illness or otherwise humiliate the victim-survivor.
- Requirements to answer calls from the perpetrator for monitoring purposes.
- Strangulation, choking or pinning up against a wall by the neck.
- Restricting access to finances, or monitoring of finances or spending.
- Coercing the victim-survivor to sign a power of attorney, contract for finance, loan, credit card or guarantee.
- Restricting the use of a car or phone.
- Restricting the victim-survivor from pursuing education or job opportunities.
- Restrictions and rigid rules about where the victim-survivor can eat or sleep.
- Threats or warnings to cancel a spouse visa or deportation.
- Threats or warnings of harm to extended family members.
- Threats or warnings to tell community members sensitive information about the victim-survivor.
- Threat of suicide or self-harm.
- Causing or threatening to cause the death of, or injury to, a pet.
- Damaging or threatening to damage a person’s property as a means of control.